Bitter Emotions in the Morning

Dear Blogger:

First thoughts of the day.

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness."

...too late...

I've tried keeping up a strong front, but who am I trying to kid? I still care too much, and I always will. It still pains me knowing you could just leave like that. The memories that replay in my head haunt me. It also hurts how you didn't take any of the responsibility for the consequences that followed and refuse to do your brunt of the work. 

You said I'd be fine, while wholeheartedly knowing that I won't be, and as much as I'd like to prove you wrong, I can't. I'M NOT OKAY. I'M NOT FINE. I'M NOT BETTER.

But I guess that's how it is and that's alright... It's about time I stopped trying so hard to be nice and kind. The beauty around me is slowly starting to fade away and I'll eventually bask in grayscale landscape. I was a martyr for love, but I need to go back to being apathetic and a cynic of the world. At least that's what I feel I need for some undetermined amount of time as I try to get back on my feet.

I wish for a miracle to help with the process. Please give me something other than time; time just isn't cutting it anymore.

-Kat

Random Thoughts

Dear Blogger:

I'm an emotional wreck.

I'm selfish. I'm insecure as hell. I've become socially inept.

I need to change that. Only problem, I don't know how.

-Kat

Potentials of Coming Back

Dear Blogger:

It's been almost 4 years to date since I last visited and shared my thoughts with you. I may start doing that again. I am contemplating it. If I do decide to come back, you'll know. I hope you understand.

-Kat