Today I finally was about to go back to school after a week-long absence. This past week has been filled with hospital visits and restlessness. It's been lifeless and lonely, though the latter is pretty much how my entire life's been like. Aww wellz.
I did not sleep last night, nor have I been able to for the past few. I have way too much on my mind and no inner peace. It kills me inside, but I keep a smile on my face in hopes that things will turn around.
So, I've already been ridiculed somewhat by the people here. They snicker and giggle, until I turn my head to the right and they see the bandages on the left. I love when that happens. They don't know what I've been doing the past week and how much pain I've had to go through, physically. But that physical pain is nothing compared to the emotional and mental pain I feel internally.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I hate how people feel the need to pity me though. That just adds to the depression I'm already dealing with. I think it's coming from my own feelings. I need to stop feeling emotions, so I don't have to hurt as much.
I don't want your sympathy or your meaningless words of comfort. I want things to start getting better. I want to be free from the prison I'm confined in.
-Kat
life and our simple human bodies are our prisons, kat. our souls are just trapped in our bodies until we die, but we all are confined into the small space and time we call life. if we can call it a life anyway.
ReplyDeletei know what you mean by not wanting people to care as much. sometimes it just makes it worse. like if youre crying or something, and then everyone starts crowding around you trying to make it better, when it just makes it worse a lot of the time.
i still hope that it gets better for you though.
and im sorry, but as humans we are kind of forced to feel emotions. all we can do is try to hide them.
~justine
YOU SIMPLY JUST HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO LAUGH AND SAY LITTLE SILLY REMARKS JUST DONT LET IT GET TO YOU
ReplyDeleteEven if I have to swim to Hawaii, I'll always be there for you. You're the only person the gets to punch me in the ribs without consequences lol.
ReplyDeleteI love you KAT!!