Worming Through Doors

Dear Blogger:

EARGASM: Duffy - "Warwick Avenue"

I must admit that I concur with the message that "life is a show" (performed by Cassie Steele's character Manny Santos on Degrassi: The Next Generation) and "the show must go on" (performed by Jim Broadbent's character Harold Zidler in Moulin Rouge). I say this because in reality, there is some truth to those two lines. Life is a great big show you are born into and you do have to go through with it, no matter what life throws at you. Hence the post I am writing now.

I finally summed up the courage to do what seemed the impossible. I shut the door that needed to be closed if I wanted to more gracefully move forward in my life. Needless to say, it was hard and very painful, but that was all the more reason to do it. I am still in so much pain that not forcefully pushing you out of my life was inevitable. I'm sorry that things ended how they did, but this is what's got to happen now. I hope one day we can fix things, but right now, I still can't deal with it all.

But as with all things in life, there had to be a balance of events. I'm not entirely sure this is equal, but as I closed one door, another reopened. No, a new door didn't open, but an old one that hasn't been present for years. I didn't open it, if that's what you're wondering. He just came back into my life and is causing up quite a stir. But because I was too nice and kept talking to him, a can of worms was also opened and now I find myself stuck in all the mess. I don't know what to do with this person. He was the first. The first boyfriend. The first person I trusted entirely outside of my close-knit circle of friends and family. The first heartbreaker. Ugh.. I can't ignore it.

-Kat